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The Films Of Jan Manthey
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| Clean your windows, m'am? |
Jan Manthey has been pounding the streets of Hounslow making his films for many a year now. From teenage drug addicts to Robot
Gorillas on the rampage (what else do they ever do?), his films encompass all kinds of bizarre subject matter. Here, for
perhaps the first time, is a near complete Filmography of the auteur that is Jan Manthey (as far as his Alzheimer's addled
mind can remember).
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| Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey |
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| A clue, my friend, a clue. |
ROBOT GORILLA RAMPAGE - 1990
"Professor Bart creates a creature that is half robot and half gorilla. Naturally it grows to enormous size and goes
on the rampage, etc, etc."
Starring Jed Leicester, Helen Dilloway, Vic Pratt, Mark Duqueno, Jonathan Cockerell and Simon Zarywacz.
-See the Apes! page for more on this troubled unfinished production.
SUPERHEROES vs ALIENS - 1990
"The evil Men In Black are planning a secret alien invasion, but they are uncovered by Mr Peterson who they then
kill. Superhero Man summonshis friends, Animal Man and Vice Man to rush to Mr Peterson's aid. They bring him back to life
and he tells them to seek the Old Man in the garage. This man is another MiB. They fight and overpower him. Mr Peterson arrives
but he has been brainwashed to fight against the heroes. Vice Man sacrifices himself to save the others. The remaining heroes
go to seek out the other MiB's. After getting through the Labyrinth of Doom they encounter the MiB's. Superhero Man destroys
them using 'The Power Of The Beard'. The heroes have won. Or have they...?"
Starring Jan Manthey, Mark Duqueno, Jed Leicester, Vic Pratt, Jonathan Cockerell, Ben Oates and Lee Scott
-There was no actual script for this Video 8 classic, and the 'special effects' are probably the cheapest most pathetic
known to man. But they kind of work I think. I am still proud of the disintegration gun sequence where a live man is reduced
to a skeleton (actually a plastic skull and rubber skeletal hand I had accuired from a joke shop many years earlier). Filming
at a friends house was nearly cancelled after actor Jonathan Cockerell had wandered into the forbidden zone of the Parents
Bedroom ( legend has it that he was rifling through the underwear drawer).
CULT OF THE PLANET OF THE APES - 1991
"Roddy is a young man obsessed with 'Planet Of The Apes'. being unstable of mind he wears a gorilla mask and naturally
goes on a killing rampage."
Starring Mark duqueno, Jed Leicester, Ben Oates and Jan Manthey
- This is the unofficial sixth film in the POTA series, and features a spectacular beheading scene. See Apes! for more
details, including the whole sorry tale of how it won the Audience Award at the Halloween Film Society meeting.
TEENAGE ECSTASY - 1993
" Victor Vincent is a square teenager who become fatally embroiled in the evil world of drugs."
Starring Vic Pratt, Paula Smith, Jonathan Cockerell, Jed Leicester, Mark Duqueno, Jan Manthey and Valentin Barrios - Ambroa.
- Possibly my finest acievement to date, this has it all. Drugs, girls, insane dancing, evil drug pushers and , best of
all, Mr Mystery. See Teenage Ecstasy for more details.
MUTANT! - 1994?
" A mutant monster is loose on Brighton Beach, it is up Inspector Zucker of the Seaside squad to save the day!'
Starring Ben Oates, Mark Duqueno, Jed Leicester and Jan Manthey
- The film that launched the character of Inspector Zucker and also featured some splendid location work on the beach.
See Inspector Zucker! for more details.
PROCESSED EGG - 1999
"A Man sits alone at his desk . he is drawing a comic strip. He finishes drawing then slumps back into the wheel
chair he is in. In a rage he tears up his drawing and throws it away. He wheels over to the other side of the room and strums
a guitar. He gets up from the wheelchair and walks to the kitchen to fix himself a ham and processed egg sandwich. He sees
a pretty girl walking down the street. He puts the sandwich down and runs outside. He follows the girl from the other side
of the road. He crosses to meet her and bumps into her, secretly groping her breast. He runs away. Back in his room he puts
on a record but turns it off after a few seconds. He looks at a photo of a girl. He rips it up in anger, then slumps back
in the wheelchair. The phone rings. He has an awkward conversation about going out tonight. The Man declines the offer. The
doorbell rings. A man with a clipboard is at the door.The bell rings. The Man crouches in a corner, sobbing.
The Man sits in his wheelchair with a beer. He picks up the torn photo and crudely pieces it together again. He yawns
and goes to bed. The camera closes in on his face."
Starring Vic Pratt, Diana Tully and Jan Manthey
- This was a return to the darker territory of TEENAGE ECSTASY. It was helped enormously by the terrific lead performance
of my eternal muse, Vic Pratt. He looked just the part in his ill fitting red tracksuit. Also great was the spooky music that
ran throughout the whole film. This was done by a man who I only ever met once. I only knew him as Michael. The title came
from this disgusting foodstuff that we bought from the local shop, that was used for the actual sandwich that Vic ate in the
film. The film was successfully shown at the Portobello Film Festival and also won an award at something called the London
Low Budget Film Festival. No prize was ever received nor did the LLBFF ever screen the film. In fact it has never been heard
of before or since. PROCESSED EGG became part of a projected trilogy called 'THE COLOUR OF DESPAIR'. Part two was filmed on
super 8 film but got burnt up in the ancient projector that I have. The project is currently on hold. Possibly forever. PROCESSED
EGG currently only exists on a very old, fragile, cheapo VHS tape after the Master copy accidently got erased. Despair indeed.
INSPECTOR ZUCKER VS GORGO - 2001
"Inspector Zucker is back! This time he faces his old enemy Professor Shatner who plans to take over the world with
a half ape half woman monster. Can he be stopped?"
Starring Rob Norfolk, Vic Pratt, Gareth McLennan, Diana Manthey, Jenny Hammerton, Jonathan Cockerell and Gorgo.
-All new Zucker! New face, bigger budget, great music, mad professors and apes! Find out more about this film in Inpsector
Zucker!
CAN YOU KEEP IT UP WITH THIS THAT AND THE OTHER FOR A WEEK? - 2004
"Robin Evans has more than a wet chamois leather on his mind. He loves girls, trouble is they don't like him. Cheeky
Robin is always thwarted in his efforts to fill his bucket. That is until he meets the mysterious Professor Gaylord who subjects
him to the Sex Ray. This should solve all his problems. He soon discovers that it isn't just girls who take a shine to him..."
Starring Vic Pratt, Diana Manthey, Jonathan Cockerell, Jenny Hammerton, Gareth McLennan Jed Leicester, Elizabeth Leicester,
Lee Scott, Sarah Lee, Rob Norfolk and Ethel The Ape.
- Window Cleaning! Girls! Men in underpants! Mad professors! Girls! Vicars!Nurses! Gorillas! Cleavage! Sex! Saucy fun!
Zookeepers! And more girls! My first digital film was two years in the making, and has been the most successful to date. Click
on Can You Keep It Up...? for more details.
OTHER STUFF:
Pop videos fro the legendary semi retired comic popsters THE DYLAN RABBIT. Title are: Uri Geller (He Bends Spoons), Vics
Licks, Godzilla Vs Zombie Smurfs, Beep Beep (I'm Yours) To Keep, I'm Happy, Christopher Lee ( Would You Like A Cup Of Tea),
Planet Of The Knob Heads, Yum Yum Bubblegum.
I'm Happy was shown on Channel 4's The Word as the worst video of the week.
Documentary: RETURN TO BUGGLESKELLY, A nostalgic journey to find the lost location to the Will Hay classic 'Oh Mr Porter'
Expedition led by Mr Vic Pratt.
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| It's like, crazy, man. |
Find out more about the exciting world of Inspector Zucker!
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